Bittersweet

Had you asked me a year ago (maybe even 6 months ago) whether or not I wanted a weekend away, all by myself, I would have said, "Where do I sign up". Ironically, someone did ask me just that question and I jumped at the chance. Now the weekend is here and I'm having mixed feelings about being away.

Starting tonight through Sunday night, I will be in Hayesville, NC on a Christian retreat, called "Mountain Top - Walk to Emmaeus". The purpose of the "walk" (bummed that there is no actual walking involved) is to offer a time of meditation, seminars, worship and fellowship with other Christians. I'm super super pumped about what God has in store for me. I feel quite confident that this weekend will give me even more direction and purpose - to be a better wife and mother.

It's bittersweet, however, because I don't want to spend ANY time away from Travis and Henry lately. My marriage is strong and the weekends are spent making it even stronger. Henry is fun now and he is becoming this affectionate little boy that I always wanted. Any time spent away from my boys seems like it will be second-rate. That being said, I'm still going, I'm still planning to reap and sow, and I plan to make the most of my time away.

Pray for Travis please. I've been prepping the house all week so that he won't have to do much. I've left him with clean clothes, a clean house, chili and ice cream. There is no telling what might happen when men are left to their own devices.

Boys vs. Girls

Question for all you mommas: If you have had a boy and a girl, what were the differences between the pregnancies? Did you carry a certain way? Gain more or less weight? More emotional?

Just curious because I am definitely seeing some differences between Henry and this little girl.

Henry: Basketball under shirt, carried low, craved sushi, hamburgers and fruit.

Clara: Carrying much higher, weight gain all over, severe morning sickness, craved steak - now nothing really.

It's A...

GIRL!! Henry's going to have a baby sister! We are just thrilled.

I kinda had a hunch that it was a girl, just because of the difference in the way I'm carrying and my severe nausea. We've decided not to name her until we see what she looks like - so that should make things a little exciting.

Travis has the ultrasound pictures at work, but he's supposed to bring them home tonight and we'll post them.

Good thing God has promised to never give me more than I can handle.

Mommy needs a drink. Or some chocolate. Or just a change of mind.

This weekend can not come soon enough. I need an extra pair of hands.

Henry has been clingy, angry, needy, and just all together, a not-so-great child this week.

I have been emotional, uncomfortable, tired and just plain tired.

How will I be able to take care of TWO of these people? Barely managing the one.

TGI (almost) F

I love being a princess...

If you've ever watched the children's show, "The Backyardigans", you might be familiar with this addictive song that they sing - "I love being a princess". The whole episode tries to teach kids about how not to be selfish, but all I took away from it was this ridiculous song. It kinda applies to my life in the past 3 weeks.

The last 3 weekends, Travis has taken me out for a steak dinner. In our budget - NO. A MUST HAVE- YES! The only defense I have is that I CRAVE the steak. I love the steak. I want to eat steak for dinner every night. Getting it once a week is a compromise, because I want it so badly. More than anything, I crave the marinade and "blood" of it - yes, I know it's odd.

The thing I feel guilty about is that Travis has been so amazingly great about letting me indulge in this craving. We've driven to Asheville twice JUST to eat at Outback (shout out to Outback, your steak is amazing).

There is no justification for this behavior. I don't think that I'm always a spoiled person (or is that something that only a spoiled girl would say?). All I can say is this: I need it and my husband will give it to me. Fine - I love being a princess.

Still...

sick. But hopeful.

pregnant. And THANKFUL!

in need.

I had a 6 days running, "no throw-up" trend going. Until last night. I always read the Verse of the Day online and ironically, yesterday's verse was James 1:2, the "consider trials pure joy" verse. Out of all of the verses in the Bible, I know that God wanted me to have that one bound around my neck yesterday.

The truth: I'm done with this. I can't take it anymore and I'm ready for life to return to normal. I'm ready to do my housework without wanting to puke. To have enough energy to really play with Henry. Ready to start working out again. To WANT to eat food again. And so much more.

I have such mixed emotions about all of this. I'm tired of being sick, but I know that the reason I'm sick, is because I'm PREGNANT!!!! So many women would kill to be sick if it meant that they were going to have a baby! I know this. I am so thankful that God has given me this blessing - and really just handed it over without much trying on our part. This is a blessing. BUT...

I don't want to be sick anymore. And I know that God can and will heal me. I WILL NOT lose my faith. Job didn't. Man, can you imagine? And now I feel bad for the "BUT.." above.

I'm talking in circles. The point is this: I need prayer. Not only prayer for healing, but for perserverance and for joy in suffering.

P.S. If you've seen the TBS commercial for Family Guy where Stewie says "Mommy, Mom, Ma, etc" then you'll find this funny. Travis has taught Henry that whole skit and he does it several times a day. So cute...and a bit tiring.

Not my brother, not my sister, but it's me, Oh Lord...

Standing in the need of prayer.

Oh man...the last three weeks have been a struggle, to say the least. But it all culminated this morning into a huge mess. Henry woke us up at 5:30 - Travis goes in there to give him his water and lay him back down in hopes of getting another 30 minutes of sleep. HA! As soon as he enters the room, he runs back out and asks me if I have a strong digestive system this morning. I think, "oh gosh, why is he asking me this?" Then the smell wafts through the air. Vomit.

I'll spare all of the details, but they include a couple more times of throwing up, some "death" poops, and three baths!!! Ah the joys of being a mother! I do have to commend Travis for cleaning up the vast majority of the mess - he has been such a great helpmate to me in these last 3 weeks.

And speaking of the last three weeks, well I just want to block them out. As you all know from our brilliant shirt idea, we are pregnant (well mostly me). I have had some pretty horrible ALL DAY sickness that I can't seem to shake. I was sick with Henry but not to this degree (girl??). My weight has plummeted to an all-time low, due to the excessive nausea and vomiting. My midwife prescribed me Zofran - that didn't touch this stuff. Basically, I'm pretty miserable to be around.

So where do you turn when things are down? GOD!! Let me tell you - I've kept in constant communication with Him these past weeks. At first, I was praying for complete healing - a miracle of sorts. Nothing happened. I start feeling doubtful and hopeless. Poor poor me. Then a revelation. I need to be praising God for this miracle, praising Him for this time of suffering because of what it will bring. James 1:2 says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance mush finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

WOW! Talk about an attitude change - a HARD one at that! Morning sickness is pure joy?!? YES - because it's making me stronger and more complete. Just the type of mother I want to be to this new life.

Please keep us in your prayers. I'll keep you and yours in mine!

Henry's Christmas Shirt

Becoming one of THOSE moms...

Before I had Henry (ah, how much I took for granted), I would make these really stupid and undeserved judgments on others. Honestly, I still do this and I ask God for help in that area everyday. I was especially harsh when it came to judging moms. I laugh when I remember a conversation I had with Katy, pre-baby - we once witnessed a pregnant woman eating her weight in mashed potatos at a buffet. I said that I would NEVER let myself do that...the baby is only like the size of a acorn! HA! What a hypocrite! Travis can attest to the fact that I WAS that lady at the New Moon Chinese buffet in Chattanooga, on at least 5 different occasions!

Moms who can't take the time to dress their babies. What else could you possibly have to do all day, staying at home?? We all know you just sit on the couch, watch your stories and eat bonbons. HA!! What a hypocrite (except that I don't eat bonbons). Henry has definitely been caught out in public in his pajamas and bed-hair. Who really cares? Obviously not me.

I also did not think that it was ok for parents to give there children those free cookies at Ingles. Pure sugar - they don't need that! HA! What a hypocrite! When Henry and I pulled up at the store today, he said, in his little adorable voice, "TOOKIE". WHAT!? My son can LOOK at the outside of Ingles and know that he is getting a cookie.

When did I become one of those moms?... One of those moms who doesn't care what other people think. One who knows that the value of her son will surely not be measured by the clothes that he wears or how he looks, but by the Godly man that he will become. A mom who labors 24 hours a day and gets no pay. Yes, my son gets a cookie...he also gets broccoli and carrots. And pregnant women can do whatever they want - they are playing host to God's miracle.

Hello! My name is Lindsay and I am one of THOSE moms.

Oatmeal

I start every day off with a bowl of hot oatmeal - complete with egg whites, cinnamon, and flaxseeds. I love to eat this steaming hot..Henry is another story. Every SINGLE morning, he comes over to me as soon as I sit down and begs for some oatmeal. No, I say, it's too hot. He still doesn't get it. So, I give him a spoonful while blowing on it and saying "it's hot". He eats it and cries. Then he wants MORE. What is wrong with this sadistic child!?!

I Confess...

Today was a rare treat that I seldom allow myself: We stayed in jammies ALL day long. I usually make myself go go go..but today, Henry needed to rest and it took very little to talk me into it. Tomorrow, I'll take my 6 mile walk, clean the house, laundry and lift weights at the gym. Tomorrow will be a regular day but today, today was for laying around.

We did go to Walmart (in our pj's), which I kinda felt bad about, especially when the checkout clerk asked if I was having a rough day. Geez, didn't think I looked THAT bad. As moms, we don't always do what is "expected" of us; we take shortcuts whenever we can, will do practically anything for a few more minutes of sleep, and we might not even eat all of our recommended vegetables in a day (or week). I felt the need to air out some of my less than stellar parenting moments - thus, the confession thread.

I CONFESS:

• that I almost always opt for foods that Henry can't make a mess with, even if they are boring and really have little nutritional value (i.e. Teddy Grahams).
• that I love it that Travis gets up with the baby in the morning and I get to sleep in - even on the weekends when I know that Travis could use the extra sleep more than I could.
• that last week, I INTENTIONALLY chose sleep over going to my doctor's appointment. Luckily, I was able to reschedule.
• that I HATE dressing Henry (or any baby). Most mothers like this, right?!? I can't stand it and have no interest in putting outfits together, thus, pj's to Walmart.
• that sometimes it's just easier to nurse Henry than to make a meal for him. (Although, one could argue that I am "making a meal" for him).
• that a couple of times, Travis and I have acted like we were going to the gym and gotten a babysitter, but instead, stayed home and held each other on the couch in silence.

I'm sure there are more, but I'd rather let Travis play with my hair right now. What do YOU confess?

Uh-Oh

Henry has discovered the trash can!! He has always played in the recycling, toting cans and paperboard around the house, but today I found him in the trash! I looked into the can and found 2 pairs of socks, some nose strips and a bandanna!?!? Now I'm wondering what all Henry has "thrown out" before...no wonder Travis has socks with no match!

Let Him Eat Cake

New Blog!

My new "old" friend, Bekah Wilkins Lail and her husband, Zac, have a blog! Bekah and I were friends in Middle and High School and have recently been spending some great time together on our long walks. Her new blog is a refreshing tale of how God can truly give you the desires of your heart!

Happy Birthday Henry Cole!!

Henry and I are up and getting ready for church. I'm sitting here eating my oatmeal and egg whites, while Henry is pulling books off the shelf. Just a few minutes ago, I had to clean up all of the tupperware scattered about the kitchen - a morning ritual that Henry thinks is funny. He comes to me and offers me a drink of water from my Camelbak, then takes one himself.

It is AMAZING how much he has changed and grown over the last year. Henry was born at 12:43pm after a scary delivery (the birth story is in one of our older posts). He came out with those sweet little dimples and stole my heart, partly because he looks JUST LIKE his father. The first few months were, well..HELL! I definitely questioned whether we would even have more children. Travis and I became PRAYING PARENTS - we prayed around the clock and reallyrecommitted our lives to Christ. Around 3-4 months, God's grace was shown and things got better. Henry started sleeping through the night and I embraced breastfeeding. Now, every day seems to be an improvement, as we are now so much more mobile and flexible. We have our routine down and I know what to expect from him.

At one year old, Henry is a joy. He smiles all the time and laughs at everything. He isn't very vocal but he knows what he wants and will let you know. He is walking pretty well now and is into everything. His favorite "forbidden" thing to do is to try to sneak into the bathroom and play in the toilet water (we now keep the door closed at all times). Henry still nurses 7-8 times a day, which I love because it is OUR time together. He also eats whatever he can get his hands on. Some of his favorites are spaghetti, prunes, watermelon and green beans. He loves reading his books and playing peek-a-boo. Ma-ma, da-da, and dog are his go-too words.

I look at him and praise God for the blessing that He gave us. God has been ever faithful through this new journey and has been the stronghold when we needed Him. Children truly are miracles and I'm so happy because of the light that Henry brings into our home.

Happy Birthday Henry Cole! Mama loves you!

Latest Video

I'd like to call this first steps but I didn't have the camera ready so I guess this is second steps. This was last night at the Kristian Stanfil/Charlie Hall event at the new Smoky Mountain Performing Arts Center.

This morning just to be sure he didn't forget in his sleep.

27 Years

Well, it's official - I've been given 27 years on this earth so far. Not alot of time to some, but to others, more than they were ever given. I've learned some things over these past few years, most of my knowledge not coming from my education but from life. Without a doubt, the biggest, most life-changing lesson learned has been to live for God. Making daily decisions that put you one step closer to Him. Choosing to cast aside the expectations that the WORLD has of you, and living a life that would bring honor to His name.

For me, that means being a helpmate to my husband and a full-time stay-at-home mommy to Henry. The WORLD would have me think that I should be working in my "field", going for promotions and amassing gobs and gobs of stuff. It makes me sad to think that if I had not met Travis, my life would be centered around those beliefs. But, alas, God had a plan, and a man for me.

The life that God wants me to lead is one of service and selflessness. A life that might not hold anything more than what I have right now. And that would be far more than I have ever deserved. Blessings upon blessings have been poured out to my family and I, all by someone who asks nothing in return. I pray that I might use my next few years to live my life in a way that is acceptable unto His eyes. To show God that I do cherish His gifts and that I'm living for Him. That is all that I can ask of myself, to give His all!

Maybe the best picture I've taken - Travis

Gross/Tantilizing Website!

Oh man! I've wasted almost an hour looking at the pictures of food on this website and it's making me crazy hungry!! One that I might make for Travis and Henry is the Meatloaf Cake with Mashed Potato frosting. Yummo!

Here you go!!!

Beach Pictures!!!

One more day, promise

till pictures are up. Sorry! Apparently now that we're parents, we're allowed to blame things on our children, so it's all Henry's fault.

Beach Trip Recap - Coming soon!

I'm going to post something about the beach when I have pictures from Mom. So just be a little bit patient.

I'm sure you've seen this but I saw it again again and remembered how touching it is. Your cry for the day.

Beach Trip

We leave THIS Saturday for a week of beach time in Destin, FL!!!! Travis and I are giddy about it! We can't wait to walk on the beach and eat lots of seafood. Panama City/Destin holds a special place for me because that is where we vacationed almost every year when I was younger. My family took a few years off and now it seems like we may make it a yearly tradition once again!

We took this same trip last year when I was pregnant and it was so relaxing. Add Henry into the mix (outside of the womb) and I'm guessing this trip will be a little different ;) In order to make the drive down as easy as possible, we plan to leave at 1AM and drive while Henry sleeps. I'm a little apprehensive about that part. Oh, and about him eating sand or hating the sand and wanting nothing to do with it.

Pray that everyone going gets at least some relaxing "vacation" time. I've never had to be responsible for anyone else while at the beach - typically, I wake up, lay out, walk, etc. whenever I want. I've come to terms with the fact that this will be the same week that Henry and I usually have, just in a different place. A beachy place!!! So excited!

Trot Trot Trot my Pony - Travis

There is no one holding the camera it is just an inanimate object sitting ontop of the couch. Yet he knows that's where he's supposed to smile.